I met my friend, Amy, when I photographed her at Hotel ZaZa (check out that shoot and one of the many girls is her). Three years later, Amy is an excellent photographer with an incredible eye. We joked around about me redoing her pictures and her doing mine. Well, the joking turned into making plans. The plan is this weekend. Like days away. Like really soon. Like I want to back out.
How ironic is that? The boudoir photographer is freaking out about doing her own pictures?
I am an open and social girl. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I am confidant and at ease with my body. I am passionate and love the beauty in other women. I am not jealous nor do I compare myself with other women (ok, usually I don't). I usually like what I see in the mirror, even if I may fluctuate in weight season by season. I like me. I love me. God gave me my curves. All good.
Here is my confession:
I am scared out of my mind.
No, really
So this is how I will solve this. I will talk to me like I am talking to a client.
- I have not lost my holiday weight, I can't do this!! First off, it's all good. Angles baby, all about angles. I know how to work them. Also, you don't have to stand in front of the camera nude silly girl. Cover up what you don't like. I will help you. I have photographed hundreds of girls. I've got this.
- I am 38 years old, my skin isn't what it used to be! Ugh. Maybe I am too old. Kandi my dear, I have seen women of all ages through my lens. I have noticed that the older the girl, the more confidence she has once she is in the room. You also have to trust your makeup artist. They are magicians I tell you. That being said, those laugh lines are what make you who you are today. You are lovely. You are. You've got this.
- I am thick in the middle, a little paranoid about that. "My butt is huge" "I have cellulite" "my boobs are too small" "I have stretch marks" I hear this so much. Women are sooo self critical. I wish they saw themselves through my eyes. They are rockstars. We will work together to make you look your best. We've got this.
- OMG!! What to wear?!?! Do not stress about this. Get a great pair of sexy shoes, maybe some cute undies, and anything else that you feel gorgeous in. Look at my blog for inspiration. But I do have to say, one of the best client "outfit" was her diamond necklace. When I asked her what she had to wear, she held up her necklace and said "This". LOVED that. Sheets were our friend. It rocked. Also, don't stress about the jewelry. He isn't looking at that anyway unless it is a special gift from him. Don't stress. It is more about the eyes, the look.
- I don't want everyone seeing the pictures! I completely respect your privacy. I have photographed so many women that did not want on my blog. As much as I would love to share their pictures, I can't. We don't want Grandpa to see them, or that weird guy you went to middle school with. I get that. Totally. I will only share what you want. Face only, body only with no face, or not at all. Wait until you see the pictures to decide. Talk with your husband about his comfort level.
- I CAN NOT do that sexy look. As my friends! Oh yes you can. One of my clients years ago gave me a great tip. I will help you. And have you SEEN your smile? A smile can be sexy too. Trust me. Laughing pictures are my fave. You've got this.
- So really, do you think I can do this? HELL YES! You've got this!!
So, here I go. I have to do this for my clients, to show them that it is ok. I am not perfect, I have weight to lose, I have wrinkles and cellulite. My husband loves my body, so I will too. Amy will work her magic....and not only that...but I will have a cheering station of friends. They may see all of my business, but that is ok. I have seen theirs too. Hehe.
I've Got This ....right?
